Women’s Issues – Alaafia African Family Resource Center

An Interview with a Registered Nurse from Ghana, Who Now Lives and Works in the United States

Alaafia — Fri, 01 Nov 2019 12:00:48 +0000

What Do You Enjoy Most About the United States?

I think it is well structured with a good transportation system, good roads, and clean environmental hygiene.
There are good educational opportunities
The United States has reliable electricity
The transportation system is good

If you can change anything about living here in the United States, what would it be?

All the taxes. I live in Massachusetts, which is often referred to as “Taxachusetts.” In Africa, they do have taxes, but they are much lower. There is only one tax, and it goes directly to the government. You also only pay taxes on your house once in Ghana, not several times a year.
The problem of drug addictions.
The bad weather conditions.
The health care here in the United States is much better than in Ghana. What I mean are the troubles that insurance sometimes gives you when you are trying to get a specific doctor or specific treatment. The paperwork and things you need to do to get that can be complicated, and sometimes you are even denied what you need.
There is little self-respect for others, especially the elderly. In Ghana, we give our elderly preferential treatment giving them the respect they deserve. Today’s generation in the United States lacks respect for themselves and the elderly. In Africa, young people show respect for all elders, even if they are not related. A child is raised in an extended family and learns respect.
They would never even imagine talking back to their elders and are taught to not look in their elder’s eyes when speaking to them. This is done out of respect.
When you go shopping in Ghana, you can always bargain the price you pay. You never pay what is written on the price tag. In Ghana, there are open-air markets where it is effortless to bargain because they have fresh vegetables and fresh meats, and they want to get rid of them as fast as they can. There may be ten people selling the same thing, and they want your business, so they are all yelling for you to buy from whoever has the lowest price, and even then, you can still bargain them down. This is hard to do in the supermarkets, but easy in the open-air markets.

Are there places that you can go to celebrate your African culture and traditions? If so, where?

I go to New York City, New York City has many places where you can get real African food, and they also have places where you can enjoy African music and dance. I also find that I can connect with my African culture in the church.

How often are you able to return to Ghana to visit with your family?

At least every two years.

Please include any other thoughts or experiences you would like to share.

Once again, there is too much tax in the United States. Although you earn money after taxes by the end of the month, you are left with nothing.
There is also no discipline in the United States.
There are less self-respect and dignity and a lot of foul languages here as well.
People in the United States need to learn good manners. We would never think of speaking badly of our elders or talking back to them in any way.

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South African Journalist Reflects on his Interracial Marriage after Apartheid

Alaafia — Thu, 31 Oct 2019 00:00:34 +0000

How has the end of apartheid changed the relationship between black and white marriage and dating? African journalist, Mpho Lakaje, found there was opposition on both sides of the issue. During apartheid, interracial relationships were banned in South Africa, and even though it has been twenty-four years since the end of the white majority rule in South Africa, Mpho Lakaje still felt opposition when he met a white woman who would soon be his wife. Here are some of his experiences and thoughts during his relationship.

“In 2007, I met Daniela Casetti-Bowen, who had come from Chile to study tourism in South Africa. We became friends and later started dating. Two years later, against her family’s will, we moved in together.”

“Daniela’s uncle, who arrived in South Africa in the early 1980s, was extremely skeptical about our relationship. He refused to let me inside their house. Daniela’s white South African friends also warned her about dating a black boy from Soweto. Daniela and I had to make a conscious decision to disregard those opposed to our relationship.”

“Most of my relatives told me it did not matter to them whether my partner was black or white, South African or not. While I was a bit shocked by their open-mindedness, I also saw their actions as a demonstration of their authentic commitment to Mr. Mandela’s dream of a Rainbow Nation.”

“But post-honeymoon, reality hit, and we started experiencing challenges that come with interracial relationships. Some of Daniela’s relatives discouraged us from starting a family. They said, “mixed-race children always had a tough upbringing because they do not have an identity.”

Ignoring their advice, they had a beautiful baby boy, Mpho Jr.

“Interestingly, relations between myself and Daniela’s family have improved tremendously in recent years. However, problems started to arise from my side of the family. Questions were being raised about Daniela’s “lack of commitment” to our traditions.”

“Daniela and I both agreed that culture evolves, and therefore, we would only follow what is practical. But some members of my family remain opposed to our views. They feel that Daniela needs to follow or perform most of our traditions.”

“For example, shortly after our son was born, Daniela was supposed to spend ten days at my mother’s house with the baby. But for us, this was not practical. However, there are many things that Daniela has agreed to do. For example, my family insisted on shaving our son’s head at three months as opposed to my wife’s belief that this should be done immediately after birth.”

It is clear from Mpho’s experience that things have improved, but there are still remnants of the old ways that have to be overcome. The success of any relationship is based on its strength to overcome the obstacles it will face.

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The Iibada Dance: Children’s African and Modern Dance Company

Alaafia — Tue, 01 Oct 2019 12:00:41 +0000

The Iibada Dance Company was founded in 1989 under the direction of Sabra Logan, who has been dancing since the age of three.

The dance company has been in existence for 22 years. Sabra Logan is known to her students as, Mama Sabra as she treats all her students like family. Mama Sabra emphasizes positive self-esteem, education, discipline, and a safe place for children to come and express themselves through dance. It is a well-known fact that African dance is very expressive and communicative; no words are necessary for this style of dance.

Mama Sabra is quick to emphasize that her dancers do not perform recitals. “A recital, to me, is different levels of dance,” she said, explaining her disdain for the word. “It’s something that you do to show your mama what you’ve been doing in class. I have a thing about going to see a production. When I present something to a parent or an audience, I want to present a level of excellence.”

Her dancers range in age from 5 to 19. Mama Sabra stretches her students to reach for excellence in a stern but nurturing way to perform material seen on Broadway stages, such as “The Color Purple” and “The Lion King,” to name a few. Many feel that Mama Sabra examines no technical barriers for her students, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

She wants her children to learn the basics, learn techniques, and become the well-rounded dancers she knows they can be. They even learn how to work with directors and choreographers, which is not typical of most dance classes. She treats her dancers like professionals right from the start. This has helped many of her students move on to some of the most respected dance companies, such as The Alvin Ailey American Dance Company.

One of her former students’ states, “Before Iibada, he didn’t know much about dance genres outside of hip-hop, that a career in dance was possible, or even that he wanted to be a professional dancer. But, he said, “Iibada helped me find my passion for dance.”

She also has her students attend dance conferences and workshops. Going even further, she also has lessons in dance vocabulary and at times, requires students to write reports on professional dancers. Her goal is to continue to expose them to something bigger whenever possible.

To get to the “company level” takes about 3 to 4 years of training, and then you have to audition just like a professional. If you want your children to learn more than dance moves, The Iibada Dance Company is the place. Become a part of Mama Sabra’s family and express yourself in this unique and loving way. The studio is located in Indianapolis, Indiana.

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South Korea is Taking Serious Steps to Help Battle Smartphone Addiction Among Children and Teens

Alaafia — Mon, 30 Sep 2019 00:00:35 +0000

South Korea has been named the “most wired” city on the planet. About 70 percent of South Korea’s 50 million people have smartphones — the highest penetration rate in the world, according to the market research firm eMarket.

Parents are anxious about the impact this is having on their teens as well as very young children. This concern is shared around the world, but South Korea has taken it a step further. The South Korean government is getting involved, stating, “We felt an urgent need to make a sweeping effort to tackle the growing danger of online addiction… especially given the popularity of smart devices.”

This unique initiative requires schools to teach classes on Internet addiction. They even took it a step further by organizing holiday “boot camps” to wean students off their dependency.

Here are some alarming government statistics that led to this decision:

According to government data, more than 80 percent of South Koreans aged 12 to 19 owned smartphones in 2012, doubles the 2011 figure.

Nearly 40 percent of those spent more than three hours a day tweeting, chatting, or playing games — despite attempts by teachers to confiscate all devices at the beginning of the day and return them when classes are over.

An annual government survey estimated that nearly 20 percent of teenagers were “addicted” to smartphones.

Addiction was defined by several criteria, including anxiety and depression when separated from a smartphone, a repeated failure to cut back on usage time, and feeling happier using smartphones than being with family or friends.

It may be even shocked to learn that this is not a problem exclusive to adults, children, and teens; it is also affecting preschoolers. Here are some alarming facts regarding this, “Many young mothers nowadays have their babies play with smartphones for hours to have some peace at home, which I think is dangerous,” Lee Jung-Hun, a psychiatrist at the Catholic University of Daegu. The younger you are, the easier it is to become dependent,” he said.

The “boot camp” discipline focuses mainly on the use of smartphones since many feel parents have less control over their children using smartphones than they do with the use of PCs.

A former schoolteacher stated he had experienced extreme cases where children had threatened parents with violence or self-harm when their smartphones were confiscated.

The “boot camp” has shown positive results on the alarming addiction.

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Books that Inspire African Children

Alaafia — Sun, 01 Sep 2019 00:00:45 +0000

These books have been found to help children get a sense of self.

Something Beautiful – Author, Sharon Dennis Wyeth (Age Range 3-7 Years)

Something beautiful is a picture book about a girl that is eager to see something beautiful in her neighborhood where she is surrounded by scary streets and angry scribbling on her building. As her friends and neighbors show her simple things that make the community beautiful, like the best-fried fish sandwich or a simple stone that a neighbor carries with him all the time, she determines what beautiful means to her, “something that when you have it, your heart is happy,.” This book is a touching and moving story about finding beauty in the most unlikely places and things.

Precious and the Boo Hag – Author Patricia C. Mckissack and Onawumi Jean Moss (Age Range 4-8 Years)

Precious and the Boo Hag is a book about a girl named, Precious, who is left home alone with a stomachache while her mother and brother going to pick corn in the fields. Her mother warns not to let anyone in the house while she is alone and her brother gives her an even stronger warning not to let the Boo Hag in the house. He says that “Boo Hag’s got a voice that rumbles like thunder and hair that shoots out like lightning and she can disguise herself to look like anything.” Throughout the book, you learn how precious deals with Boo Hag when she comes calling.

Princess Truly and the hungry bunny problem – Author Kelly Greenawalt (Age Range 4-8 Years)

This is a delightful picture book about a clever, problem-solving Princess with magical curly hair. The illustrations will keep your child engrossed with every page turn.

Salt in His Shoes: Michael Jordan in Pursuit of a Dream – Author Deloris Jordan (Age Range 4-8 Years)

This is the story of how Michael Jordan almost gave up his basketball dreams due to his short stature. It shows you the wisdom his mother and father shared with him. They demonstrate to him in a heartwarming and loving way the invaluable lesson of what goes into the making of a champion — patience, determination, and hard work.

You Can Do It! – Author Tony Dungy (Age Range 4-7 Years)

Linden, the younger brother of Tony, was asked in school one day what he would like to be when he gets older. He didn’t have an answer. His older brother Tony says a prayer to God to help them find the answer. The next day Lyndon went to the dentist because of a toothache and determined that is what he would like to be. This is a story of faith, family, and love.

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Why African Babies Don’t Cry From the African Perspective

Alaafia — Fri, 30 Aug 2019 00:00:02 +0000

Being born in Africa and now living in the United Kingdom, Claire always knew that when she had babies, she would want to raise them in Africa. When she found out she was pregnant, she did what many pregnant women do. She bought and read many books on pregnancy regarding what to expect and what to do. She thought by reading the books and following the “steps” she would be doing everything right in regards to caring for her baby. That was until she spoke with her grandmother and learned valuable lessons. Her grandmother stated, “Babies don’t read books – and really all I needed to do was “read” my baby.” Everything Claire had read indicated that African babies cry less than European babies. She was intrigued by this and wanted to know more.

When she went home to Kenya to have her child, she observed how the babies were carried. She said you could barely see the children. Let me explain. They were so well wrapped in protective blankets that they were hard to see. This was even the case with older children. They would just be wrapped in larger blankets, like a cocoon.

After giving birth Claire’s child did cry. She cried a lot. She had forgotten everything she read from the books and was feeling overwhelmed. That was until her grandmother came to visit and gave her pearls of wisdom. She told her that the crying would stop if she just breastfed, even when the child was not hungry. The loving gesture and posture needed for breast-feeding comforts the child’s in a very natural way.

Here is Claire’s grandmother’s wonderful philosophy:

Offer the breast every single moment that your baby is upset – even if you have just fed her.

Co-sleep. Many times you can feed your baby before they are fully awake, which will allow them to go back to sleep easier and get you more rest.

Always take a flask of warm water to bed with you at night to keep you hydrated and the milk flowing.

Make the feeding your priority (especially during growth spurts) and get everyone else around you to do as much as they can for you. There is very little that cannot wait.

Read your baby, not the books. Breast-feeding is not linear – it goes up and down (and also in circles). You are the expert on your baby’s needs.

This worked for Claire, although extremely time-consuming.

Many fewer African women who now live in the Wester countries initiate this practice. It is said to be due to financial reasons as well as the fact that they must return to work much quicker, making breastfeeding this frequently impossible. This is not to say that African women in America do not breast-feed, many do, but research shows that much less do than those living in Africa.

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America Women’s Health and Common Causes of Death

Alaafia — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 00:00:29 +0000

America Women’s Health and Common Causes of Death

Although death is the ultimate predicament for all human beings, women and men are predisposed to slightly different risks. Generally, women live longer than men, thus resulting in more older women and widows in society as opposed to their male counterparts. Experts attribute this to genetic factors as well as a general disposition towards life. For women, though, longevity is threatened by many health conditions.

According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), the seven main causes of death for women are as follows:

Cardiovascular diseases

Over 288,000 women died from heart diseases in 2014 alone. Experts warn that eating food rich in cholesterol leads to constriction of heart muscles and blood vessels, thus putting one at risk of heart diseases. The high levels of stress emanating from work-family conflicts aggravate the situation.

Cancer

Experts have not managed to place a finger on what exactly causes cancer. However, there is strong evidence to suggest that sedentary lifestyles, poor eating habits, and exposure to harmful chemicals, especially in the chemicals we use and food, are the main risk factors for cancer. Even when cancer is genetic, these factors increase one’s vulnerability. Cancers of the lung, breast, and colon are the most prevalent in that order.

Stroke

Stroke, cardiovascular diseases, and cancer result from largely the same factors.

Chronic lower respiratory diseases

According to Mnt.com, “Chronic lower respiratory disease (CLRD) is a collection of lung diseases that cause airflow blockage and breathing-related issues, including primarily chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) but also bronchitis, emphysema, and asthma.” The air we breathe is laced with chemicals emanating from industries, and this is especially true in urban areas.

Alzheimer’s disease

Loss of partial or full memory is becoming very common among aged women. Experts attribute this to diet, extraneous damage to the head as well as lifestyle choices.

Unintentional injuries (accidents)

Womenshealth.com asserts that “Nearly 180,000 people die every year from preventable injuries and violence, amounting to one death every three minutes.”

Diabetes

This is a lifestyle illness that can be inherited, although it also results from unstable sugar balance in the body owing to poor eating and exercise habits.

The way forward

If this situation is to be averted, women watch they and their families eat, engage in more physical exercises, and maintain a positive attitude towards life. This is necessary for all women, irrespective of or economic social class.

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Do Culture Television Shows Glamourize Teen Pregnancy?

Alaafia — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 00:00:06 +0000

The TV show “Today” asked a psychotherapist and freelance entertainment journalist who is also an expert in pop culture if the reality TV show, “Teen Moms” glamorizes teen pregnancy.

Before talking about their opinions regarding this issue, it is important to discuss why it is being discussed in the first place. The reality TV show, “Teen Moms,” has become a cultural phenomenon. It is the second most popular show on MTV, according to the Today show. It is because of its popularity that these issues need to be discussed.

There is much controversy surrounding the show. Many feel that it is sending the wrong message by glamorizing teen pregnancy. These teen moms have become celebrities. They have gone as far as appearing on magazine covers.

Despite this, the psychotherapist interviewed feels that the show is educational and realistic. She feels the popularity of the show is because people want to see the harsh realities of what it’s like to be a teen mother. She also feels that teen mothers have been marginalized in the past, and this show gives teen moms an identity. It puts a face to this problem that has been going on for years. As well as showing the struggles in relationships, it also shows the harsh truth that these girls can no longer grow up as girls, they are now women and have to deal with the realities of such.

The freelance entertainment journalist and pop-culture expert agree with many of the opinions made by the psychotherapist. Her main concern is what will happen after the show is over. Will these girls continue to make bad choices to stay in the celebrity spotlight? She states, unfortunately, due to reality TV people crave what she terms,” train wreck television.” Both women do agree that when the show is watched, it should be watched with parental guidance so that any questions that the viewers may have can be discussed during and after the show.

After watching the clip from the “Today” show regarding teen pregnancy, I have to admit I’m not sure where I stand on the issue. I do not agree with teen pregnancy, but I am not naïve and understand that this can happen unintentionally. My primary concern is, due to the popularity of this show and others like it will teen girls intentionally become pregnant just to become a celebrity. They are creating an innocent life that has no voice or choice in the matter. That is why it so concerns me. What do you think?

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The Gradual Rise In Single Motherhood In The US

Alaafia — Sun, 30 Jun 2019 00:00:42 +0000

According to a website called Singlemotherhood.com, “Once largely limited to poor women and minorities, single motherhood is now becoming the new “norm.” While society would not have imagined children being brought up by a single parent several decades ago, today, people don’t find it strange at all. So, what are the statistics behind this trend?

Numbers don’t lie

40% of American children are born to mothers who are not yet married. Further, a third of these women have not attained 30 years of age by the time they bear these children. Additionally, single mothers outnumber single fathers. The US Census Bureau reports that in 2014, America had 12 million single-parent families, and 8 out of 10 of these were headed by women. Unfortunately, nearly half of single-mother families live in poverty.

Emily Badger, writing in the Washington Post, opines, “Single motherhood has grown so common in America that demographers now believe half of all children will live with a single mom at some point before the age of 18.” This writer calls this trend ‘the unbelievable rise in single motherhood in America in the last 50 years.”

How about marriage?

While 51% of these mothers are widowed, divorced, or separated from their husbands, 49% have never been married. This implies that such children do not have the benefit of having a father or even enjoy having a foster father. For the young unmarried mothers, bearing a child brings about a concoction of social, economic, and psychological complications.

What does this imply?

Two-thirds of single mothers have to work for the survival of their children. Many others live on employment benefits. In a world where almost everything must be bought, the challenge of unemployment is overwhelming. Society does not have any special favors for them. Family members who sympathize may not have the time to take care of children while the mother looks for a livelihood. Dissecting this data into ethnic groups will reveal even more worrying trends.

Single motherhood affects the entire society

With statistics indicating that children of single parents tend to fare poorly in school, careers, and life in general, it is time governments considered single motherhood (and single parenthood) a national problem and took practical action to empower these families. Society is interconnected, and it eventually shares in the negative consequences of single-mother families.

@ EthLeen

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Growing Influence of Nigerian Movies on Ugandan Women

Alaafia — Sat, 01 Jun 2019 00:00:52 +0000

Nigerian has one of the fastest-growing movie industries in the world. Nollywood (as it is known) is rated third after Hollywood (American) and Bollywood (Indian) industries. Nowhere else are Nollywood movies popular than in Africa. This is because they resonate with African life.

Africa’s paradigm shift in cinema

Previously, many people on the continent were glued to Western movies, which though popular, presented a culture and lifestyle viewers could not identify with. However, with the advent of Nollywood in the 1990s and its phenomenal growth over the years, movie lovers in Africa appreciate the fact that jealous co-wives, witchcraft, culture, HIV/Aids, and the daily struggles of the people on the continent have found a mouthpiece.

Nollywood craze in Uganda

One of the countries that have embraced Nollywood films wholeheartedly is Uganda. In this East African country, you can watch Nollywood movies on national television daily. Those who like to watch movies in a crowd also have the opportunity to visit video halls where they will sample a variety that has been voiced in local dialects in hilarious fashions.

Nigerian attire is gaining currency

Women are also dressing in Nigerian attire. It is fashionable today to see a Ugandan woman attending an official meeting in Nigerian clothing. Ugandan tailors are making a lot of money from stitching clothes that appear to come from Nigeria. On the negative side, though, young and older women alike tend to dress in skimpy clothing, exposing a lot of flesh, in imitation of their favorite Nigerian actresses.

Looking for a Nigerian Husband

Marriages between people of the two countries are on the increase. Reportedly, Ugandan women are keen to attract and marry Nigerian women. According to The East African, “Some Ugandan women even think the much-dramatized simplicity of male characters — which are easily tamed or put in a charming bottle — is a reality.” This is obviously a lopsided notion as people from one nation cannot be expected to behave in one prescribed manner.

Do all Nigerians practice witchcraft?

On the flip side, though, one Nigerian living in Uganda was overheard saying that “He had trouble mixing freely with Ugandans, what with the movies then portraying Nigerians as superstitious, wicked and supportive of human sacrifice.” Well, what else would one expect, when Nigerian women, according to their movies, spend more time visiting witchcraft dens than working?

If the current trend is anything to go by, soon, Ugandan women will create a mini-Nigeria in their country.

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