But first, Umar Abdullah-Johnson gives an interesting definition to the term ADHD. He states, “With nearly most Black children being reared in single parent households it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the ADHD diagnosis has been on the rise, which in most cases has nothing to do with any neurologically-based brain dysfunction, but rather a family-based emotional dysfunction that I refer to sarcastically, but truthfully as “Absence of Daddy from Home Disorder,” which is the real ADHD.”

Here are some of Umar Abdullah-Johnson’s reasons for African-American marriage failure in the U.S.:

Searching for Security: Unmet Emotional Needs from Childhood – Because many come from dysfunctional families or had relationships that were dysfunctional they tend to search for things they never had such as security, attention, acceptance, intimacy, love, approval and trust. This is done unconsciously. You must become consciously aware of how your poor relationships continue to show in your romantic behavior.

Self-Hatred: Looking for Someone to Love You – Many African-American people replay old abusive memories in their mind when something goes wrong in their lives. You tend to spend a significant portion of your life trying to find love, but then fail. You cannot reciprocate that love because you do not love yourself. Until you are able to love yourself, you will never be able to give love in return.

Material Meltdown: Buying Happiness – Umar Abdullah-Johnson states, “Money buys pleasure, it can never buy happiness .In fact, the pleasures that money buy often lead to addictions that destroy relationships.”

Escaping Misery: Looking for a Way out of Your Pain – You tend to reach for a new relationship to help you with your pain. You do not have the discipline our resolve to ease your own pain or problems. As soon as that relationship no longer gives you which you need, you disregard it. You must develop a relationship with yourself first.

Post-Traumatic Relationship Disorder: The Ghost of Relationships Past – Umar Abdullah-Johnson states, “Between relationships we all need a period of fasting, where we give our minds and souls the opportunity to heal and rest, before we attempt to “get it right the next time.”
These are a few examples of relationship failure, according to Umar Abdullah-Johnson. If any ring true for you, seek therapy before a relationship.

©EthLeen

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